🎃 Hilarious Halloween Jokes & Puns: 100+ Clean, Family-Friendly Funnies

Ever notice how Halloween humor is like a mixed candy bag? You’ve got your classic treats (the groan-worthy dad jokes), surprising delights (clever puns), and those so-bad-they’re-good peanuts. If you’re hunting for humor that’s more “trick” than “treat” for your brain, welcome to the right haunted house! 🏰

This guide is packed to the coffin-brim with funny Halloween jokes and wordplay perfect for party invitations, costume captions, or family giggles. From ghostly gags to vampire puns, we’ve conjured a 100% family-friendly, ethically clean collection—no tricks, just treats for your funny bone! Get ready to cackle, groan, and share the spirit! 👻

👻 The Phantom Pun-ish-ment: Ghost & Ghoul Jokes

Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them! This section is for transparently hilarious specters. 👻

1. I told my friend a ghost joke, but it went right through him.
2. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie. 🥧
3. Why don’t ghosts use public transportation? They prefer to haunt their own vehicles.
4. How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office. 📮
5. What do you call a ghost’s true story? A frightful account.
6. Why was the ghost a good student? He was ahead in his spelling.
7. I’m reading a ghost history book. It’s hauntingly well-written. 📚
8. Never play cards with a ghost. He deals from the boo-ttom deck.
9. What’s a ghost’s favorite fair ride? The roller-ghoster. 🎢
10. I asked the ghost for a raise. He lacked the spirit for it.

🧙‍♀️ Which Witch is Which? Sorcerously Silly Puns

Witch jokes are spellbinding successes. Don’t hex yourself laughing! ✨

1. What do you call a beach witch? A sand-witch. 🏖️
2. Why did the witch visit the pharmacy? She needed a spell-check.
3. How does a witch know the time? She checks her witch-watch. ⌚
4. What’s a witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling!
5. I bought a cauldron from a witch. She gave a stirring sales pitch.
6. Why are witches good at HR? Experts in broom-stick interviews.
7. What do you call a polite witch? Please and hex-you.
8. The witch opened a bakery—her recipes were on pointe. 🍰
9. Never upset a witch. She might hex your Wi-Fi. 📶
10. Why did the witch’s team lose baseball? Their pitching was bewitched. ⚾

🎃 Gourd-geous Giggles: Pumpkin & Jack-o’-Lantern Puns

Halloween would be hollow without our favorite orange squash! 🍂

1. What do you call a grumpy pumpkin? Gourd-geous. 😠
2. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
3. The talking pumpkin was a real seed-spreader.
4. Why did the pumpkin refuse carving? It had a lot of guts.
5. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash! 🏸
6. My contest pumpkin didn’t place. The competition was too stem.
7. The pumpkin visited the doctor feeling hollow. 🏥
8. What do you call a pumpkin detective? Sherlock Gourds. 🔍
9. The shy pumpkin wanted to blend in.
10. Why was the jack-o’-lantern a great comedian? Killer smile. 😁

🧛 Fang-tastic Wordplay: Vampire Jokes That Don’t Suck

These jokes are neck and neck for being the best! 🦇

1. What do you call a magic-loving vampire? A trick or treat-er.
2. Why was the vampire fired from the blood bank? Goofing off.
3. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange. 🍊
4. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern… ✉️
5. Why did the vampire see an orthodontist? To improve his bite.
6. What’s a vampire’s least favorite game? Stake-boarding.
7. I hired a vampire lawyer. He has transylvania-ence. ⚖️
8. Never lend money to a vampire. They’re always brooke.
9. The vampire’s nightclub sank fast.
10. Why was the vampire always calm? Nothing got under his skin.

🧟‍♂️ Deadpan Delivery: Zombie & Mummy Groaners

These jokes are so silly, they’ll have you laughing like a brain-hungry zombie! 🧠

1. What did the zombie tell his date? “You look grave-ly beautiful.” 🌹
2. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’ll unwind.
3. How do zombies like their eggs? Terri-fried. 🍳
4. What’s a mummy’s favorite music? Wrap. 🎵
5. Why was the zombie bad at school? He ate his homework.
6. What do you call a piano-playing zombie? Chop-in. 🎹
7. The mummy’s stock investment was a pyramid scheme.
8. Why did the zombie cross the playground? To get to the other slide. 🛝
9. What’s a zombie’s favorite dance? The conga line.
10. I told a mummy a joke, but it was too old for him.

🕷️ Web of Wit: Spider & Bug Puns

Don’t let these creepy-crawly jokes bug you—they’re spun from fine humor silk! 🕸️

1. What do you call a legless spider? A raisin.
2. Why did the spider get a computer? To check his website. 💻
3. How do spiders communicate? Through the world wide web.
4. What’s a spider’s favorite computer activity? Browse.
5. The fly didn’t stand a chance—spider had a trap home.
6. Why was the spider a good actor? Always on webcam.
7. What do you call a cowboy spider? A tarantula. 🤠
8. The insect comedian’s bug joke had a great punchline.
9. Why don’t spiders fight? They’re not bug-gish.
10. How do you make a bug laugh? Tickle its antennae.

🍬 Trick or Treat-ious: Candy & Food Puns

The sweetest section! Perfect for loot bags or dinner tables. 🍭

1. What’s a ghost’s favorite candy? Boo-berry drops.
2. Why did the candy go to therapy? Too many issues.
3. The chocolate bar joined the army—now a Bar-rack. ⭐
4. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue-berry.
5. Why don’t skeletons give out candy? No body to eat it.
6. What’s a vampire’s favorite candy? Lolli-pops.
7. The gum was sad in a sticky situation.
8. Why was caramel always invited? Wrapped up in being fun.
9. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese. 🧀
10. The candy corn failed its audition—not a-maize-ing.

🐈‍⬛ Feline Frights: Black Cat Puns

These black cat jokes are positively purr-fect—no bad luck here! 😼

1. What do you call a black cat on Halloween? A spooky kitty.
2. Why did the black cat join Instagram? For litter-ary content. 📱
3. The superstitious cat under a ladder? A catastrophe.
4. How do black cats get rich? Win the littery. 🎰
5. What’s a black cat’s favorite movie? The Meow-trix.
6. Why was the black cat a good musician? Perfect paw-dic control. 🎻
7. The cat started a business—a total cat-preneur.
8. What do you call musical black cats? A meow-sical.
9. The kitten was scared of the pumpkin—paw-cubed.
10. Why don’t black cats play jungle poker? Too many cheetahs. 🃏

🏰 Haunted House Howlers: Spooky Location Gags

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Haunted real estate jokes! 🚪

1. The haunted house investment? Its value apparition.
2. Why did the ghost buy the house? Dead-on location.
3. The haunted hotel had great service—eerie-d on caution.
4. What’s a monster’s favorite room? The living room.
5. Why was the graveyard noisy? The coffin. ⚰️
6. I tried the haunted restaurant—no spirit in the food.
7. The skeleton couldn’t afford the house—bone dry.
8. What do you call a clean haunted house? Boo-tiful.
9. The ghost rented his house—a friendly land-bored.
10. Why don’t secrets last in haunted castles? Walls have ears… and ghosts.

🎭 Costume Capers: Dress-Up Wordplay

Half the Halloween fun is deciding who—or what—to be! 👔

1. I dressed as a door—an opening act.
2. Why was the math book sad? Too many problems for a costume.
3. The tree costume won—he branched out. 🌳
4. What do you call a fake skeleton? A humerus bone.
5. My friend went as a shrimp—a little shell-fish. 🦐
6. Why did the smartphone wear a costume? Incognito mode. 📱
7. The detective costume was sus-picious. 🕵️
8. I went as a cloud—the party was a rain of fun. ☁️
9. What’s a baker’s favorite costume? A loaf of bread. 🍞
10. The costume contest was fierce… or fur-ce.

⚡ How to Use These Halloween Jokes & Puns (Without Scaring People Away) ✨

Now armed with spooky wordplay, deploy them effectively:

• 📱 Social Media Gold: Perfect captions for pumpkin carvings, costume reveals, or decorations. (e.g., black cat photo: “Just here for the litter-ary content. #HalloweenPuns”).
• 🎉 Party-Perfect: Print as treat bag tags, write on napkins, or use as icebreakers.
• 👧 Kid-Friendly Fun: Share clean, simple puns with children—they love groan-worthy humor!
• 📧 Email & Invites: Spice up party invites: “You’re Invited to a Boo-tiful Soirée!”
• 😄 Just for Giggles: Read aloud at dinner—shared groans bond families.

🤔 FAQs About Halloween Jokes & Puns ❓

Q: What exactly is a pun?
A: A pun is wordplay using multiple meanings or similar-sounding words for humor. It’s a joke that makes you go, “Oh, I see what you did there…” followed by a laugh or eye-roll.

Q: Why are puns so popular around Halloween?
A: Puns are accessible, family-friendly, and satisfying. Halloween’s vocabulary (ghosts, witches, candy) is a perfect wordplay playground. They’re short, ideal for social media.

Q: Are these jokes okay for children and schools?
A: Absolutely! Every pun here is family-friendly, ethically clean, with no adult themes or inappropriate content. Designed for universal, good-natured fun.

🎊 Conclusion: Don’t Be a Fraidy-Cat—Share the Laughs! 🎊

You’ve got a cauldron of spooky, silly Halloween jokes to brighten your season! Whether a pun aficionado or seeking humor, we hope this list delivered.

Now, it’s your turn! Which pun made you chuckle (or groan) most? Have a classic Halloween joke haunting your family? Share favorites in the comments—let’s summon the best laughs! Spread fun by sharing this article. Happy Haunting! 👻